So now in the group there are 2 couples.. So that leaves me alone... feels so...weird.. and now that thye have someone else, they are starting to forget me... the one who calls me his 'bestfriend' now will always pang seh to go out. I mean thats fine, but at least hang out abit with your friends? And now..me and my other close friend seem to be slowly drifting apart.. I guess I didn't really like her, I was just afraid of losing her as a friend. well I really hope im thinking too much and that im wrong...but so far all my bad feelings have come true... fucked up la... I cant even tell them how I feel... or more like I dont want to... I feel like im just gonna burden them if I say all this... I think they're tired of hearing me emo already... They just don't show it.. I guess its natural.. Sometimes I just feel so alone... There's no happiness, nothing to look forward to... the only people who give me happiness is my friends and family. but now there's the issue with my friends...so the happiness is gone. im just so damn fucking tired now... so many things on my mind..
8:26 PM
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Today had BBQ. Well it went well I guess? Just that there were awkward silences. Well I'm glad everyone else had fun... I guess its only me who found it damn sian... If you ask me, I rather stay at home and sleep... Sigh... I wish I had company tonight... Just want someone to talk to... Oh well...
I REALLY REALLY HATE IT WHEN IM RIGHT SOMETIMES...
2:17 AM
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
I get jealous whenever you tweet each other about that kinda stuff... I get jealous whenever I see you guys together... Why is that? I thought I had told myself I would never date you or anything because I fear the consequences of a break up.... Recently you have been talking less to me and more to him. I'm wondering, why the sudden change? I don't even know why I'm feeling all of this... Really heart ache... I think I might really have fallen for you.. I can rant on twitter and you would ask me what's wrong. But I can never tell you...all I can do is put on a fake smile and say its nothing....or say the problem is about something else... I'm just so stupid... I just have to fall for every girl who already likes someone else... Again, I feel as if I'm a pauper against a prince... Now it seems like everyone has someone, except me... So what do I do? walk slowly behind..alone while everyone else walks ahead happily with their partner... Sometimes I wonder if I will even get a girlfriend, or die alone when I'm old.. As I walk on the streets I see couples everywhere. Can't help but sigh. I know I shouldn't find a relationship, instead let it come to me...but I just can't help it. arghhhhh............fuckkkkkkkkk laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
