I feel so jealous, angry, frustrated. I feel like i'm being replaced. Suddenly during the holidays you guys have become much closer. And you guys have much more fun with them than with me cos I can't do lots of things... So now what? Replace me? Forget all the time we spent together back in secondary school? Seriously...I would like to feel a little more fucking appreciated. I don't even know why I still care.
Life sucks.. everything always seems okay but there's always a part of me that hurts.. I just wish I had another life sometimes...like a different lifestyle I wanna be sociable but i'm always shy... thus my dream....my desire...would never come true.. I really really envy people who have everything I want.. What I want cannot be bought with money.. so whats the point of having so many things if you're still not happy?
Every now and then whenever I see couples, my heart just sinks... thinking about how I never stood a chance with her.. yes now I think i'm falling for her...AGAIN my heart is really playing games with me. why does everything be so hard? why do I have so much conflict within me? why do I feel so fucked up all the time? I can never stay happy for more than a day.. because whenever i'm alone I start thinking... a lot fuck this, fuck everything.. I don't wanna fucking care anymore
