Thursday, December 30, 2010
I guess all I can do now is dream. Maybe she'll be with someone else soon.
I'm just so stupid and timid.
Can't even talk to her....
Its totally my fault...
but why was it so hard?
And I really don't know what's going on now. I feel so lonely.
I'm not feeling any joy.
I have nothing to look forward to.
I feel that its just so unfair.
I sometimes wish I had another life.
I don't care anymore.
I think I should stop caring about anything.
I think its all unnecessary and it only wastes my time to care about stuff that doesn't benefit me in any way...
Friday, December 24, 2010
Am I being outcasted? Or is it simply a wild assumption? If you really are outcasting me, I wanna ask something first. What exactly did I do wrong? Or was I never part of the group in your eyes?
And why am I still feeling a form of attachment to her? Apparently it hasn't completly died off....
this sucks. I'm like a lost puppy. Not knowing what to do, who to trust. Its like there's a shroud of darkness covering many truths. Why must everything be so complicated?
This is a horrible christmas eve....to know that maybe there's a chance that a group of friends are backstabbing you.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Sigh. I don't know if its a blessing or not. Seriously. Found out how shallow I am, also found out that I'm more naive than I thought. Everything seems acceptable and yet, I still want it to be better. And I really don't know who to believe right now. This is so fucked up.
Suddenly got a feeling that something is going on behind my back, or that I'm being outcasted or something.
Maybe its just my imagination? I really don't know...
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Perhaps God is helping me forget about it? Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. Perhaps I can finally get over it? Who knows.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Life is too short.
My mood just changed.
Just heard my grandfather might die anytime during the next year.
Unless he goes for an op. It has a risk of death during surgery as well.
But if its successful, he can live for 10 more years.
I'm fucking worried now
