Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Dammit la. Feel so useless that I can't help a friend. I thought I had problems, his are worse. I wanna help him, but I don't know how. And also at the same time I keep getting stupid feelings.
This sucks ttm......the optimism I had about poly has totally vanished..
Everytime I see her talking to another guy, I still feel jealous. Why do I even feel like this? I can't totally not care. But then I still can't talk to her normally. Ironic. The further I am from her, the easier it is to talk.
And yet, till now I'm still unsure about my feelings. Its like neither here nor there.
I want to experience love. But I know I'm still so naive and all.
Sighhh. My way thinking may still be immature.
I still get hints of envy. Horrible.
And sometimes I really find myself craving for attention. Like an attention seeker.
Like always wanting to be in the spotlight, or to put it simply, the popular guy.
I want to get noticed.
But...oh well....I guess its too much to ask anyway....
