Tuesday, November 2, 2010
2nd week of school and I'm already so tired. Dammit. Stupid thoughts coming back to my head. My cds classes weren't what I expected. I'm like one of the youngest there :/ Dammit la I hate being alone in a class.
And now I'm also thinking. I don't even know if my goal is worth it, or even achievable. Fuck this. So many barriers all around. I can't even bond with my friends properly 'cause my Chinese sucks ttm.
Why can't everything just play out from my mind, like exactly how I imagine it to be.
I've got nothing to look forward to again. Its hard to carry on a daily routine without anything to look forward to, for me.
I can't even help a friend. All I can do is just listen, as much as I want to help , I can't.
I also don't even have the guts to do anything outside of my comfort zone. Even if it would've benefit ted me alot.
Talking with friends is so much easier. Sigh. Its like I'm the only person who can't talk properly to her.
I think I'm being fucking unappreciative now. I hate that feeling. Fuck. I also can't even feel good about my image and all. I'm so fucking unappreciative and ungrateful now. Its as if I'm a perfectionist.
The life I wanted in poly , was so different. Sigh.
I want it, yet I cant bear to leave my current lifestyle.
Am I asking for too much? Are my expectations too high? Why am I still not happy?
